I married my husband twice

Rita 42 married twice - to the same man! Physiotherapist from Ireland.

What's your most memorable experience?

Being thrown out of my flat by my ex. He was a lazy, violent alcoholic but I wouldn't be told. I kept going back. Then one day he chucked me out onto the street in my underwear. I ended up living in a womens’ hostel for 4-5 months - it saved my life.

How do you see yourself?

When I’m drunk I see myself as really hot (laughing). I’ve always regretted not liking me in the 'now' as opposed to 'My life will get better when/if…'

How do you feel about kids?

I come from an Irish Catholic background and I’m the eldest of seven. I had done my bit with childrearing before I’d even left home! I wouldn't have chosen to have any children but I had one and I’m glad I did. 

What do you think about marriage?

I never really aspired to be married but I married my Husband twice! The first time lasted 3 years, then we divorced. 18 months later we got back together. The divorce was cathartic, it was the most cleansing thing I’ve ever done. We didn't have to be polite anymore. After the blow up there was just more honesty - it felt right. We married again in 2010. It was a private quiet ceremony. We’re just more committed and stronger now. Coincidently his mum and dad did the same thing in their marriage too!

What are your views on faith?

I was brought up a Catholic because - it’s just what you do! It kind of angers me now. I feel it’s a construct for men to rule oppressed women and people they can bully - it means nothing.

I thought I used to be spiritual but I am becoming less and less so. I agree with Stephen Fry when he said  I am struggling with the question 'Why we are here - if you could describe a painting why would you paint?'