The size of a man's feet is important, adequately large!

Natalie 46. Architect. Married with two children from London.

How are you?

Optimistic! 

What do you think about shoes?

The first thing I did when I fancied man was to look at his shoes, if they didn't come up to scratch there was no way I would pursue him. The size of a man's feet is important, adequately large! I don't like men with small, dainty feet. People present their personality through their shoes. Shoes express the way you greet the world they are on the foundation, they have to be beautiful.

How do you feel about marriage?

 My view has completely changed since I was younger. Marriage is a really important institution that safeguards your soul. The older I get the more I realise you need these ceremonies and institutions, they anchor us for the emotional thoughts you have as you develop and get older. Being married is a really helpful device. A gathering together of all your emotions and necessities about having a family. Marriage is a social construct for the family not just for the two people involved.

How do you feel about children?

Life without children is unbearably self-centred. Which is pretty rich coming from a woman who never wanted to have children. I completely change my mind. When I was 18 I accepted there were too many children in the world and I was quite moral about that. Then when I was 27 a woman said to me “How can you spend your whole life together with someone without procreating it’s just not natural?” 

I didn't think of myself as a natural being, I was just this ego but something happened at that moment; I was in a relationship and suddenly it all made sense, how can two people have sex and not have babies? Nature compels you can want to have children, I don't like interfering with my body so I never went on the pill, I did have partner, I was having sex, and at the time he didn't want children and that made me realise I did.

How do you feel about housework?

Sylvia Plath had a lovely explanation, she considered household chores the mechanics of everyday life. Simple expression to the mechanics, I like the sense of repeating everyday and getting calmness. But I also like having a cleaner!

What are your dreams and desires? 

I am driven, driven by the fact that you can make things better. I love taking responsibility for myself. The world can be a scary place. I am thankful for living in the 21st century in the UK. We are unbelievably privileged to have what we have.

Where does all your energy go?

Into my brain. Intellectually, I thoroughly exhaust myself, I internalise everything and then think I’m not good enough.  I could do with more self improvement to manage my time better. 

How do you feel about chocolate?

Fantastic, magical, an absolute necessity. The best drug on the market. I am very restrained. I can only eat a limited amount of chocolate. I love it. More than alcohol. I use it to close the days activities. Last thing at night I have a little square of chocolate. When I eat that piece it opens me up to dreams. I glide somewhere else in that moment.

What brings you down?

I get angry too easily. I sometimes think I don’t care enough or listen enough. 

Not being able to say no! Not being able to understand my children.

How do you see yourself?

I always used to feel uncomfortable being a woman. I liked myself before I hit puberty. I liked being androgynous. It took a while to adjust to being a woman. 

I am blessed with a big brain and I look pretty good for my age.

What do you like about yourself?

I’ve always tried to be self aware. I like my consciousness. I like to change things, I’m a risk taker. Women are constantly de- risking life. I like being masculine and a balance between a woman and man. I like to be provocative. I don’t let myself down. I’m a really well equipped survivor.

What are your views on faith?

I think everyone has the capacity to be spiritual but just don't discovery it. I'm delighted to be continually uncovering, revealing and mining my own sense of spirituality.

What do you think about death?

Our culture doesn't make it easy to talk about it where others do. As a result you feel unprepared. I think many more people would be at ease with their own death if we talked about it more. Personally I'm quite at ok with it. 

What would you like to leave for the next generation? 

Comfort, a sense of security coupled with breadcrumbs of inspiration. 

What have you taken from today?

It's been a privilege to be asked to reflect on your own life in good company.