World peace is about finding peace within

Susan 49, an Artist from Scotland. She lives in Brighton. Single and actively engaged in life!

How are you?

I feel very contented, I feel like I’m at the end part of a journey - fresh new horizons. I’m more me than ever. I’ve let the mantles of confusion and self doubt go. I’ve done it by being incredibly unhappy and realising it's only in my head and it’s a self-indulgence. It's been a gradual process. I've been reading a lot and fearlessly facing myself with forgiveness. I am appreciating the here and now, looking forward and genuinely letting go of the past. I'm seeing the past as a process of how it’s brought me to where I am now. I am grateful for the difficult times and experiences that I've gone through  - they're my ‘growing pains.’

How do other people see you?

Probably quite tense. Quite proper and surprisingly vulgar. They're not quite sure what's going to come out next.

What brings you down?

Lack of justice, or my perceived justice. Unkindness and lack of generosity of spirit. Cruelty, people moaning unnecessarily. Jealousy, thoughtlessness and being taken advantage of.

What are you dreams and desires?

To keep growing, to keep changing. Letting go of more inner stuff and embracing change. Keep laughing especially at myself. To improve my work and keep being interested in my work.

I still have a dream about living in the countryside. I’d like to live in an eco home with bees. To keep an open mind spiritually and develop spiritually. And I want to be able to touch my toes! (laughing)

Where does all your energy go?

I channel it into my work, friendships and my family. Some people are like energy thieves and can floor you incredibly quickly and it always takes me by surprise.

How do you see yourself?

Industrious, tender, loyal, creative, open, caring, kind and sensitive. Needing nature and appreciative. I like people but I need my own space.

What do you like about yourself?

I now like my body for the first time. I like my teeth, I like my grey hair. By respecting my physical body it has given me confidence and appreciation of myself that I haven't had before.

What are you views on body image?

There’s a lot of ego and not enough confidence and a lot of fooling ourselves. If you're unhappy with your body there’s no quick fix, just loving hardwork and re-education of how to eat and move. 

I was hiding in my body before but not now. Now my personality can shine. I used to feel vaguely agoraphobic when I went out because I felt fat. Old voices in my head saying I was unattractive. I was often put down physically. Because I’ve accepted myself I like and love myself. I'm not my body and I am ok! 

How do you best express yourself?

Through my art. The observation of the detail. Through writing and unconventional aesthetics. Through nurturing and cooking. Through order and clarity. I have an eye for the unusual - in other peoples eyes not my own.

Who or what inspires you?

Nature. Animals and their quirky behaviour. I am fascinated by their noses and teeth, mouse's paws. Tapirs - when they lift their mouths and show their teeth. (Have a google, they're amazing). Sunlight, leaves, the delicacy of mushrooms, fine moss, the unfurling of ferns. Beaks in Spring, all the promise that they will bring. The smell of nature, the elements. Landscapes with uninterrupted views. Sensual sculpture, the intricacy of human's creativity. Kindness, tenderness, love, food and cooking. The ability to nurture, tame and grow in nature. Transformation.

What do you think about life?

Joyous, to be explored. To look at the sunshine instead of the rain. To keep on the positive side of sadness. It's too easy to slip into it and stay there. There’s lots to learn, even through pain. Keep striving to make the most of what you've been given and keep reaching for more. Life is about kindness, giving to one another - give and take. World peace is about finding peace within. 

Life is a polarity between light and dark, good and bad. One finds ones place, one joins the noise and finds peace within it or creates more noise. Life is a planet of choice, what we choose and how we choose to live just doesn't affect us - it affects everyone. 

What do yo think about death?

I see death as a release, going to a higher place. Bereavement is a natural expression of the utter pain and loss of the familiar. A terror of change. Not having the ability to talk  with the person in the physical, not being able to understand or comprehend them not being there anymore. It's like a piece of the jigsaw being taken from you and it's left you with a hole you have to fill, but don't know how!

What would you like to leave for the next generation?

My art work. Hope and awareness that our future is our responsibility. Be confident with the voice you have and speak out for injustices and truth. Confidence is more important than ego!

Are you free?

Much freer than I've ever been. There will always be shackles to release, no matter how small. I feel very excited about the future, that my life is just starting and I hope I always feel that way. 

People give up on life too quickly. I appreciate the amount of hard work I've done on myself and it's been worth the effort. It has released me from old fears that never existed except in other people's heads and transferred them to mine. We are so busy talking about our own story that we forget we know it. Taking the time to listen to anothers story gives us the opportunity to learn about someone else as opposed to going over our story again and again and missing the opportunity to learn from and about others - We need to change our soil or we will get stuck.