I am a happy drunk
Paul Matey Machell 53. From Burnley. Fork lift truck trainer. Married, two children. Burnley supporter.
How are you?
Very well considering what's going on at the moment. We are at a point in our lives where we are happy. We've always been happy but we seem to be getting happier as we get older. In the early days me and the wife, we’d have our arguments and now we're just getting on with it. There might be a bit of shouting, but it'll only be something like - “why’ve you not put any sugar in mi brew?”. Silly stuff.
What's your most memorable experience?
Going to see The Specials for the first time. I was 12. Watching Burnley at Wembley in 1988. We got beat 2/0.
When I met my wife, it was a memorable, crazy day: Our first date was a Saturday. I’d gone out all day as normal. By the end of the night I was that pissed I didn’t know where I was. I fell over going to the chippy, split mi head open down to mi skull. I had 16 stitches. This was our first date. I was sat in the back of the ambulance with a big bandage on mi head full of blood. She sat in A&E with me for five hours. My sister said she was so glad I met my wife, otherwise she reckoned I’d be dead by the time I was 40. I am a happy drunk. I’d fall asleep under a pool table and wake up there the next morning!
What do you think about death?
I sort of embrace it. My mum died when I was ten of bronchitis, she never smoked in her life. Obviously it wasn't a good thing. My dad re married for two years later and died two years after that of cancer. I was 14. I lived with my stepmom till I was 18. At the time she was the wicked witch but when I look back she wasn't at all. She did what she could for me. I was an absolute horrible child. When I was 18 my step mum kicked me out. I went to Blackpool college to do butchery. I want to be a publican like mi dad. I remember mi dad trying to show me how to change a barrel.
What was it like not having your mum and dad around? I just gone on with it. I think because I was so young it carried me through. Don’t get me wrong, I thought about them all the time. If I’d had a drink late at night, I’d cry myself to sleep. Sometimes I get a bit emotional when I drink. I’m an emotional drunk. I’m a hugger. I’d used to cry, well into my twenties.
I remember where I was when I was told my dad wouldn’t last the week. I remember what I was watching on the telly when mi mum died - Coronation St. With mi mum, she’d been ill for a while, you sort of get used to the idea. I used to sit with her at night before we went to bed for two/three years before she died. Whereas me dad, he got rushed into hospital on the Sunday night and died on the Thursday.
I think I love mi kids even more because of that. If my lad lost me now and went through what I went through, I don’t think he’d cope like I did. I know lots of people who've lost the parents when they're older and because they've grown up with them and had a relationship with them, it’s harder. One of my mates, his dad died last year, he's absolutely gutted. I think you’re more resilient when you’re younger.
Did you ever think about your own death? I do now. My dad was 56 when he died. Mi mum was 46. But just coz they got ill doesn't mean I will. I don't worry about it. I think if I did get ill, I will know how to prepare my kids to cope with life. My funeral song is ‘Come on Eileen’ by Dexys Midnight Runners. Scatter me off the rocks in Ibiza.