I just want to share it and scream out from the rooftops about how brilliant it is

David 54. Married with two children. Grew up in Kent but now lives in MY village, Up North! Works in healthcare communications and is a yoga teacher. 

Before we started I had to ask Dave how he enjoyed living North as basically he and I have switched geography: “I’ve been in the North longer than I've been in the South. My wife is a Lancashire lass. One time I remember being at a bus stop in Manchester; everyone was chatting to each other, it was lovely. A few weeks later I went down to Kent to see my folks, I was at bus stop there and started up a conversation - people thought I was mad!”.

(It is a total coincidence that I met Dave. It was through Twitter and a mutual Twitter friend. He is a southerner who moved to the village I grew up in. His children went to the same schools I did. He walks in my woods! This conversations was a very long conversation, due to nostalgia on my part!) 

How are you? 

I am ok. But you’ve prompted me to think of Walt Whitman, “I contain multitudes”. I am and feel so many things now. Fifty-four is probably the best time of my life but then paradoxically, strangest too. I’m being over - dramatic but it’s also the most baffling time of my life. I hit my fifties and I looked in the mirror and I thought, I don't feel 50 something. I still feel in my twenties. That's the confusing bit. I got to 50 and I thought, I'm in a relationship where we’ve stayed the same but also changed. My daughter went to university, and the house was a bit emptier and quieter, and that change was enormous. My son has become a thinking, independent young man. There’s an accumulation of knowing what works and what doesn’t. I love that. I still feel very young at heart. I feel a lot more knowledgeable about who I am, what I like and what I don't. But at heart I am fine because I'm a deeply reflective, and grateful person. My grandfather said - “The world is full of wonder”. That phrase has stayed with me forever; it helps me get through. 

How do you see yourself? 

I'm a reflective person. Probably on the spectrum of a procrastinator. I've got strong values. If something fits with my values then I’m driven. It’s probably the yoga as I adhere to many of the principles in yoga philosophy. My family thinks that I'm going to end up in a cave in Tibet. I'm a Yogi. I read lots of spiritual texts. I practice lots of spiritual practices. I see myself as someone who really cares deeply about a lot of things, who loves life. Who wants the best of everything for everyone. I hate conflict. I prefer creation, openness, willingness and optimism. I see myself as living in a bit of a musical half the time. I live life a bit like I’m living in a musical half the time - ‘Gandhi in the Rain!’

I'm genuinely baffled by life that's why I love exploring things. I'm naturally curious about everything. That's why I became a journalist. I’m also motivated to understand more. I read on average about five books at a time. All at the same time, I'm playing the piano, playing the guitar, doing this and doing that. Then suddenly I burn out. I stop and do sweet fuck all for ages, then feel guilty about it - the cycle starts all over again (laughing) 

What do you like about yourself? 

I like my curiosity and my enthusiasm. I like my love of people and of life. I love my reflective qualities. They have kept my enthusiasm in check from being too foolish and I liked that. I love the magic of life. The chance, coincidences, fate, all that sort of stuff. The mystery and magicalness of life has led me to meet some great people and go to great places. I get caught up in duties and obligations like the rest of the world but there is an inherent mystery in life - and I know that and what to open myself and everyone to it! 

What do think about children? 

We didn't think we would have kids. I think it's probably the best thing we ever did. We have two. Out of all of the achievements that we can list it has to be the most fulfilling. I did my best when they were growing up but I love that they're almost fully formed adults. I love that they challenge me and call out my stupidity and hypocrisies - they are superb at this. Sometimes they miss the mark and just irritate me but other times they nail it and I am glad to have that. I love that they are open to feedback too! 

Where does all your energy go? 

I am enthusiastic about pretty much everything. So unless I manage it my energy goes everywhere! I practice yoga which is very much about energy management. I see myself as a container of energy. Energy gets dispersed very quickly and you can end up feeling quite deflated and lose your energy. You can become a victim of everything around you if you don't contain or manage it your energy. 

I start my day doing yoga practices to energize and focus me for the day. I do breathing practices, asanas and chanting. If I don't do it, I'm all over the place. I hate feeling frazzled. Towards noon I go for a walk. I get drained quickly. I'm an introvert. I find lots of people making demands on me tiring which is made worst because I like to please people too. A good trick I learned is that if you want to be energized, act as if you are energetic by being active. If you want it to be very chilled and calm then calm your energy, slow everything down. 

What are your dreams?

It's going to sound presumptuous but I'm where I want to be. It sounds crass but I'd like to have more money, but who wouldnt? I've always loved writing. I'd like to explore the world a bit more. Maybe write more on my blog. I’d like to deepen my yoga teaching practise too. People meditate in many ways. Running, walking, playing the piano. It doesn't have to be yoga, but I love yoga. It's one of those portable things you can do anywhere, anytime, any place. I just want to share it and scream out from the rooftops about how brilliant it is. So more time to deepen my yoga practice is my dream. 

What's your most memorable experience? 

Back in 1989 I travelled to Australia. While there, I hitched up to the Barossa Valley from Adelaide with a load of German girls who gave me a lift in their microbus. It was great. One of them asked me where I was going next? I had no idea so she took out a map and pointed to a place called Berry - she thought it looked interesting. They dropped me there. It was by the river Murray. The Murray is a massive river in Australia. I hadn’t a clue what I was going to do next. I went to a bar and got chatting. The barman said I should follow the river - so that’s what I did. I walked for a few days, sleeping rough at night. I saw this Steamboat. These two blokes on the boat were shouting and waving - ‘alright mate! Do you want to join us?’. It was a beautiful steam boat. They were camp, and fun and it was such a great opportunity to be on the river, rather than by the river. I slept on the deck. They slept downstairs. I was in my element. I loved being on the river in the middle of nowhere. Not thinking for one moment about the possible dangers, I could have been murdered. On the third day we had to stop for provisions. One of the guys went off to get supplies and the other bloke says - ‘you want a shower mate?’ I hadn’t had a shower for days and I’d been roughing it on deck. I got into this amazing steam shower below decks and he disappeared. All of a sudden I felt a very excited male behind me in the shower. I was like - ‘no, I'm sorry. I think you’ve misunderstood, I don’t want this!’. He was coming on to me. I managed to edge my way out of the shower and dry myself. I was quite anxious. I'm thinking what happens if the other guy comes back and thinks I’m trying it on with his partner, let alone being sexually harassed by him? I was very fraught. It was surreal. Here I was in the middle of outback Australia on a steam boat on the River being propositioned. 

I grabbed my stuff and jumped off the boat. I managed to get some provisions without being spotted by the other guy and I headed off into the Bush. I didn't feel like I needed to report it or anything. I just misjudged the situation. It was a honey trap. I'm not homophobic, it’s just not me. I love women, I'm definitely het. Why did they not get that? 

I continued walking along the river for a day or two. Then I saw this bloke on a rough hand built raft, tyres and planks - and he saw me in the bush. He was what the Australians call an Ocker- a kind of rough foul mouthed, red neck sort of bloke. We were miles away from anywhere. He steered towards the shore and asked me if I was alright and wanted a lift. I was hesitant after my last experience and as I paused he pushed his cowboy hat back and said - ‘Oh, you've met the river Queens’. He assured me he was safe and he was definitely het, so I joined him. He was on the river for charity. He was travelling from the source to the sea. Everywhere he stopped, he’d go on the local radio station to share his story and drum up support for his charity, and he would drag me along. It was bizarre. I added extra interest because I was a pom, I suppose. 

The journey was magical. We followed the river all the way to the sea. We didn't talk much - he was a quiet stoic type, smoking and drinking, which was ideal for me as I was like that too. When we arrived at the destination - the Coorong National Park, there was a massive party waiting for him. The next morning with a hangover, I said farewell and went off walking for a few more days. I loved it. I was by myself in this beautiful place. When you're open to things life is amazing. Life is profoundly beautiful and rich. 

Who or what inspires you?
The Buddha is absolutely top of my list. I didn’t expect to blurt that out. His story is so profound. He came from a privileged background and decided to turn his back on it. He couldn't understand why there's so much suffering in the world. He tried to understand and make sense of it. Through meditational practices he broke through and achieved enlightenment. I love the story of the demons throwing arrows at him and the arrows being suspended in mid air as he becomes enlightened. It’s a metaphor for us all. He basically said enlightenment is within everyone’s grasp. 

The other person who really inspires me is Chogyal Namkhai Norbu - I went through a period thinking I needed a structure for my beliefs, yoga philosophy and Hinduism didn't quite cut it. I'd been searching for a framework. I was reading a Buddhist text and came across a tradition called Dzogchen - which basically says that we're all enlightened. We’ve just have lots of dust and grime on our glasses. If we clear our vision of the grime, we will realise that we’re all perfect and everything's fine. 

I met Chogyal Namkhai Norbu on a retreat a few years ago. He was an amazing man. Something he said hit me like a thunderbolt. He said, that the important thing is to come back to your essential self, your original mind and self. It’s called The primordial mind. He also said that all these rituals (in religion), are all secondary. It's about not having conditioning, biases and habits. It’s about finding a state of relaxation, having equanimity, not being charged up, and having a state of luminous or pristine awareness. That’s how I came to the Buddha. 

I'm inspired by painters and musicians too. Bob Dylan has inspired me ever since I've been a kid. I love Joni Mitchell and Leonard Cohen. I love the artists and the poets. Most of them are a bit weird, and I love the weirdo tribe. 

What do you think about life? 

I love life. I’m fascinated by it. I'm glad to be alive. I'm amazed that I've got to this age. Life is a profound and beautiful mystery. I could be just sat on the sofa having a cup of tea, or sitting on the top of Pendle Hill (I wish). Life is so fucking amazing. I’m amazed that people dont realise this and take it for granted. Everyday I am fucking amazed by it all. And grateful. 

What do you think about death? 

I'm not afraid of death. I welcome it in the sense that it's inevitable, it's going to happen. In my Buddhist practices there is a meditation on death. You go to the charnel grounds or the cemetery and meditate on death. I tried to do that in a cemetery, it's quite profound. Not to be taken lightly. I realised that I could die any minute. I still do. It’s quite fragile isnt it it? Death is only a breath away. I wake up everyday with that profound sense of, I’m alive. 

A couple of years ago I fell down the stairs because I chose not to put the lights on - trying not to wake my wife! I broke my forearm and kneecap. I remember being in A&E and the doctor saying ‘You're really lucky. You could have damaged your spine. You could have been killed. You should just put the fucking lights on’. It hit me after. What was I thinking - Jesus that was close. It made me appreciate life more. 

Death is a partner of life. It's the unruly guests that comes to the house. It’s always hanging around, and then one day you end up going with it. 

How would you best express yourself? 

By sharing. I share my love of things. My love of life. I share a lot on social media; and if we weren’t in covid lock down I would be having people round and sharing with them - poetry, paintings, nature, pictures, music, all sorts of things. I do this because that's an expression of me. I write a lot of poetry although I’ve never thought to share it! 

What do you think about doing this? 

You've been a fabulous interviewer (THANK YOU) I think your questions are great. They’re challenging. I felt relaxed though. I think what you’re doing is very important. You're operating on the level of magic. You’re asking me to tell you about me which is nice, but also uncomfortable. I like that you’ve created a process that could loosely be described as a form of therapy, but actually it’s a springboard to help me reflect further on how I can be a better version of me. That’s what I've got from this. I've got to say this has been a fantastic experience. I'm really grateful.