My dad is in an urn in my bedroom

Mark 60. From London. Married, Five children. 

How are you?

I’m enjoying life. I am very happy. Less stress these days. I never want to be miserable, it’s too much hard work. Sometimes I meet people who are hard work. Always moaning; ‘my cats died, I lost my job! There’s always something to moan about. Keep those things yourself and deal with them. I absorb peoples energy. I try to swerve people that moan. 

How do you see yourself? 

Chirpy and positive. I always have been, coming from a single parent family. I don’t want to be miserable unless I’m in pain. Where were you born? Camberwell. I was living with my mum for the first seven years. My mum and dad tried to make it work. She’s Irish Catholic and my dad was from Jamaica.

When I was seven Mum said -  I've looked after you for seven years, your dad can look after you now. I adjusted to my dad's climate, he was strict. ‘You must wash. You must learn to cook. You must learn to wash your clothes’. He tried. He gave me one on one personal tuition. It was difficult because he worked nights.

When I see all the mental health problems there are these days I think, if anyone should be down it should be me with what I’ve been through. Growing up with my dad and stuff. Loneliness is a fucking killer. I remember in the winter you wouldn't see anyone. Did you have to spend a lot of time in your own? Yeah. It was the nights. I’d do my homework. Watch the telly. I loved school. It was an outlet for me. I should be bloody depressed.

MORE TO COME FROM ‘MEN TALK’ - OUT SOON!