What do you do?

When I started this project (7 years ago) I never really thought the day would come when I'd have to put my money where my mouth was and write my book. It was so far in the distant I could never really see me actually doing it. I was paying lip service to an idea but then it became my default setting whenever someone asked me "what do you do"?

Before I had my book I was always doing something - interviewing, writing, tidying, taxing kids, organising, there was always stuff to do. But life has taken a new course recently - my project turned into a book at the same time as my girls went off to uni - my life is changing - again!  

I am entering a new phase, with one teenage son at home who spends most of his time in a darkened room playing FORTNITE - (something to do with Zombies and storms and nothing whatsoever to do with a fortnights holiday) no elderly parents to look after, all my 'roles' are done for now - and I have become a book seller.

I'm not sure I like that role. I don't like all the attention - it does beg the question - why the heck am I doing a TEDx talk? and the answer - I am not sure! Who in the right mind would stand on stage and talk to an audience of 300 people and a few more on YouTube? 

I am a 50 year old menopausal mum from Clapham for goodness sake - this is so not my comfort zone - is it going to make me a better person? NO - but the opportunity presented itself so I'm going with it. There's something in my psyche that is pushing me to give new stuff a go. I might be deluded but there again - you never know I might actually remember what I am going to say and it might have an impact...