I was very happy to see the back of last year

Michael 34. from New Zealand. Separated. Works as a session musician.

How are you?

Exponentially better than I was this time last year. Last year was a hard year. I separated from my wife. I couldn't tour as I had to stick around to try and save my marriage. It didn’t work out. I felt I’d wasted a year of my life. I was very happy to see the back of last year. 

Being a musician is an extremely unconventional life. There’s not a steady flow of income - it comes in in dribs and drabs. A lot of my friends my age have wives, mortgages, children - I don’t have any of that. I don’t want any of that. There’s nothing wrong with convention, I’m just not a conventional person.

Music is my vocation. There’s always a feeling that your work’s never finished. I always knew I wanted to be a musician since I was 9 years old. I moved to London in 2009 because I was bored. New Zealand is so far away, they don’t have the infrastructure to support musicians. If you want to make money you have to go on tour.

I’m most proficient at the guitar but it’s the instrument I like the least. I’ve been playing it since I was 12. I rate myself as a guitarist for sure. I don't want to come across as arrogant but I have become incredibly bored playing it. I’m a session musician so my work isn’t my own art. I essentially play other people’s music for a living so I don’t normally tell people what I do. However I’ve just been given an opportunity and the space to write an album. I’m living and working in a recording studio. It’s where I’m supposed to be.

How do you see yourself? 

A little bit jaded. I can be cynical at times but at the same time I am a very optimistic person. I think I’m still young at heart. Quietly confident. A huge football fan. I support Tottenham Hot Spur. The way I talk and represent myself is an accurate way of the way I am. This is me there’s no facade.

How do you think other people see you?

You wont believe the amount of people who think I’m gay. Gay men can tell I’m not gay but women and straight men think I am. I don’t know why that is! I think it’s hilarious. Is it because I’m slight? I’m not super androgynous.  

What do you like about yourself?

My hair. Everyone in my family is bald. I don’t mind going grey - I’m not sure about going bald. I’m not without my shortcomings! 

What do you think about marriage? 

Marriage is a hoot! When I was married I was so proud and happy to be married. When I was down the pub all I’d talked about was my wife. I was married for 3 years - we still are legally but we parted company last year. We simply hadn’t been in love and couldn’t reconcile. We were living together but not really talking to each other. Essentially we were like flat mates who shared a bed. There was nothing intimate. Tensions would build up. I said maybe we’d be better off apart and she agreed. It was a very lonely time for a while. The initial mourning period was hard. I was over come with grief and pain. I would cry myself to sleep. I’ve moved on a bit now. Maybe we will get back together? Maybe I am just too principled? She will always love me and I will love her forever.

What are your dreams, what makes you tick? 

Being a musician has always been my dream so in a way I’m already living my dream. However, my work is never finished and essentially that’s what makes me tick.

What do you think about life? 

Generally life is cruel, relentless and messes with you at any given time. At this point in my life I think the joys of living far outweigh the dread. 

What brings you down? 

Mostly daily irritations. My two biggest pet peeves are: when people do not believe what I say and having my schedule rearranged by others, against my will!

What do you think about faith?

I believe in faith in yourself. I still have faith that my shitty football team (Tottenham Hot Spur) might win the league in my life time. Us Spurs supporters have to have faith because that dream is not currently based in any reality nor has it been for some time!

What have you taken from doing this today?

This was a very therapeutic time. I’m happy I had somebody to talk to for a change. It gets lonely at the studio. I have no access to the outside world or news unless I choose to read a newspaper. Thank you.