Do people become more like their parents as they age?

Tom, 26. Royal Marine. Single. From Derbyshire. Lives in Glasgow. 

How are you?

I'm in a good place, although I’m a bit bored with Coronavirus and the whole lockdown situation but everyone is ok. I’m in the armed forces. We’re really lucky as no one's been made redundant or furloughed. I'm on full wage. The rotations are different now so the camaraderie isn’t there. There are less people about. I've got a chance to do more outdoor exercise and go for long walks. 

How do you see yourself?

When I was younger I wasn't very confident. I used to follow the herd back at school. I've improved my confidence a lot. Joining the Royal Marines gave me a focus, a purpose. I found it easy to stay motivated, not so much now though, my motivation has dropped off a bit. 

As I get older life starts to get complicated. When you're young, you can do what you want. I can choose to go to uni, or join the Marines or whatever. Things were clear and simple. But now I realize there are limitations. There's all sorts of constraints and before you know it, life can feel limiting.

How do you think other people see you? 

The traditional feedback has been, - he lacks confidence. Last year an old school friend messaged me out of the blue. She asked how I was getting on and said how much she missed school. She’s still living where we grew up and not doing much with her life. At school she was a popular person, maybe that's why she misses it. I couldn't have disagreed more. As an adult I can do what I like. I'm completely independent. I’m very driven. 

What do you like about yourself? 

I am very organised. Ever since I can remember I’ve written down my goals. For example if there was a specific fitness standard I'd have to meet for the Marines, I’d write it down. Or saving money, stuff like that. I am goal orientated. I plan to buy as many as properties as I can. I’m about to buy my second home. I don’t really know why I am buying all these houses, or why I want them? If I do become wealthy, I don't know what I'd do with all the money.  

What do you think about marriage? 

No, don't do it!  It's an institution. My dad always talks about it like it’s something to do, like a job. I understand people who get into longterm relationships but when it comes to marriage, why? Why does it have to be official and legal? 

What do you think about children?

I don't want any. I don't see what the draw is to having them. There are people my age from school who started having them at 16. Children seem like a constraint. However as I’m getting older, I do things I said I’d never do. I’ve changed my opinions on many things. Who knows, when I get to 40, I might say ‘Oh my God, what an idiot, why did I say I didn’t want children? 

Where does all your energy go?

Into saving money and getting fit? We've managed to bastardize a gym so we can do weights. I’m an outdoors person. I’m seeing a girl from Glasgow, we're not a ‘thing’, but we took a sleeping bag and slept out under the stars, I love the outdoors.

What makes you tick?

It’s probably sounds a bit mental, but I want to be really well off. I’m not sure why. I have no idea what I will do in the long term but whatever it is, it will be a lot easier with money. Money would give me freedom.

What are your dreams? 

I’d want to change the world. I want to have a big impact on where the human race is going. Something to do with protecting the climate, or changing the political system around the world, or even the monetary system.

I've noticed people seem to have as many children as they want, then take them on holiday abroad every year, yet the other end of the spectrum people can’t feed their families. It's all because of capitalism. People in power have the wealth and the intelligence, so naturally, they tend to be at the top.

What's your most memorable experience?

Finishing my recruit training. After 32 weeks we marched 30 mile across Dartmoor then you get your green beret. I'm just a Marine but am looking to get promotion next year, to corporal. 

Who or what inspires you?

Ant Middleton from Who Dares Wins. He gets an idea of what he wants and just makes it happen. He joined the Marines, the Engineers and the Parachute Regiment. Then he joined the Special Forces. He’s an inspiration. He started writing books and doing tv shows. I went to one of his book signing, I’d never do that normally. 

I want to be different from my parents but interestingly, I was talking to this bloke the other day and he said, as you get older you'll find that you become more like them. I Googled ‘Do people become more like their parents as they age?’ Apparently, it’s inevitable (laughing). 

What do you think about the weather? 

I always hated the rain. I've come to appreciate it now. I look around and see that we live in a really lush country. I'm quite happy living in Britain. It’s the right kind of place for me. I think the weather matches me.

What do you think about life?

I’ve found a philosophy recently that says life is just meaningless and terrible. I was talking to my grandma about it and she says I’m being daft and naive. I don't know where I stand. That's my issue at the minute, I actually don't know what to think about life. It’s meaningless, but we can add meaning. 

What do you think about death?

I'm frightened to death of it. I’ve always been frightened of death. I remember asking my dad - when you’re dead, do you come back again?  He said, ‘No, it’s like going to sleep, forever’. That really freaked me out. I used to get really panicky about it. I would lie in bed at night and sometimes run into mum and dads room because as I couldn’t handle the thought of not existing. 

Death is a motivator in itself. Sometimes I lie awake at night and think, today’s been ok. Then I think, Oh my God, I could have died today and I'm not achieving enough. I give myself a timeline of things I need to achieve by a certain time.

What brings you down?

When I'm not sticking to a routine. I struggle getting into a routine and then I don't always stick to it. I’m a bit like, I’ll start tomorrow, I’ll start next week. There’s always stuff that gets in the way and slows you down. 

What are your views on faith? 

In terms of religion I don't really believe in any of them. I think they're good for social cohesion. I don't think it matters if it's grounded in a reality or not. I find myself believing in institutions like the Royal Marines. Obviously, it's an idea, not an actual thing, but it's an institution I believe in.

What would you like to leave the next generation?

I’ve just realized there's going to be some big issues that the next generation are going to face, like pandemics, global warming and inequality. I want to leave them the solution. The key is education, to unlock those solutions.

What have you taken from doing this today? 

Rather than a journalist asking key figures what they think about, this is a project where normal people are asked what they think. It’s a diverse, a cross section of society. It’s like Humans of New York. It's a really cool project. I'm happy to have taken part. I'm glad to have taken part.