I want to meet Bruce Springsteen

Ian 69. From Yorkshire. Married. one child. almost retired, but not quite!

How are you?

I've come to a stage in my life which is quite significant. I’m going to retire next March, when I’m 70. I’m not obsessing about it, I’m looking forward to it. I made a choice to work passed retirement age of 65. I’m enjoying what I'm doing which is helping young people achieve their full potential and get into good careers. It's really rewarding, particularly for kids from disadvantaged communities. 

When I was younger I was much vainer. As you get older things start to sag. You can’t do as much as you could. I can get very frustrated about that. I've had wobble or two around my mortality, especially when my mum died 6 years ago. 

How do you see yourself? 

As a late middle-aged bloke. Without getting too bloody morbid, I’ve had a good life, there’s no two ways about it. I've enjoyed my life. I'm very lucky to have a great family. Me and my partner have been together 34 years in November. I’ve worked 25 years in teaching and then 12 years in charities. I’ve enjoyed the bulk of that. I'm not sure everybody can say that. Thinking back to my mother's generation, people got to 60 or 65 and probably pop their cloggs six months after retiring.

How do you think other people see you? 

Easy going. Strong views. I'm really political. I've been a socialist all my adult life. A bit stubborn. Good company. Passionate about things. I've always spoken to my mind. I like people to put their cards on the table. I like to know where I stand. I don't shy away from stuff.

What do you like about yourself?

I've been true to my beliefs for the last 50 years. I've not wavered  from my political beliefs. I’ve been a proactive member of the Labor party for a lot of years.There's been a continuity and I'm proud of that. There’s honesty in that. I suppose it's about a belief system that I'm passionate about. I've still got that passion. I like me now better than when I was younger. In my 20’s and 30’s I wasn't nice person in terms of relationships. I wasn't trustworthy. I’ve got a lot of regrets in that I hurt people. I’ve changed and a lot of that is down to my partner. She made me realise you have to be reasonable, honest and trustworthy. I'm a big believer in lifelong learning. When I retire I'm going to go back to studying.

What do you think about marriage? 

My parents' marriage broke up and that had an impact. There was no way I was getting married.  Back in the seventies there was this view that marriage was some sort of bourgeois concept. My dad was verging on alcoholic and a domestic abuser so it was absolutely the best thing for my mother to leave him. She had a new life. It was difficult. As a single parent on her own in the early 70’s, it was not a good place to be. I remember fingers pointing at my mother - how could she leave her marriage? Because you don't know what the bloody hell was going on, that’s why! Don’t be pointing the finger.  She absolutely made the right decision.

Marriage happened quite naturally for me. We met 33 years ago. We’ve been married 27 years this year. I think I've matured and become much more sensible. I'm glad I’m married to my partner.

What do you think about children? 

The idea of me being a dad, I just never considered it. I wasn't interested. I had no need to keep the the family name going. 

My daughter is 25. I was 44 when we had her.  I thought I was quite old at the time. Probably less so nowadays. I'm so pleased that I became a parent, she’s added so much joy to our lives. I wouldn't be the same person without her. I remember her being 3 weeks late. This bloke said to me - ‘I’ll tell you one thing - the first time you look into your child's eyes, your life will never be the same again’, and he was absolutely right. She's a joy. 

Where does all your energy go? 

I think may be my mojo has gone. I think there's a link between energy and passion. A lot of my energy goes into my political beliefs. I invest a lot of energy into work because I enjoy it. It's a bit of a cliche but I go the extra mile. I’ve never been a clock watcher. 

My energy goes into my relationship and family life. I think you've got to work hard at it. Relationships require energy to make sure they continue on an even keel. If I have any energy left - I go for a walk. 

What are you dreams? What makes you tick?

I want to meet Bruce Springsteen. I am a Springsteen fanatic. It was 1985 when I first heard him. I remember because the miner's strike was 84 and he’d given $20,000 to support the Durham Miners, he connected with my politics. What a fantastic thing to do. Plus he's a musician. I've been a fan ever since. If I had a fantasy it would be to meet with him. Sit down, have a coffee or a beer and just talk it through. I don't think it's going to happen really. His lyrics are absolutely astonishing. He’s been a passion for me for the last 35 years.That working class context. The humility. The common man and woman that he represents. The music is utterly up lifting. There’s a whole raft of emotions. And your favourite song of his? Born to Run! 

Who or what inspires you? 

I'm inspired currently by Black Lives Matters. Coming out of the tragedy of George Floyd’s death. It's invigorating seeing so many young, diverse people involved in that. It gives me a tremendous belief and faith in the future. These young people are our future. They’ve responded in such a positive, meaningful, moral and ethical way. I think we need to let the young people take control because I think they would secure a better future for us.

What do you think about life? 

I'm an atheist. My grandparents on my dads side were Weslyians and on my mums side Church of England. I used to go to church on a Sunday morning, and then chapel on a Sunday night. There was a level of indoctrination for sure. There was an advantage to this though, two days trips to Scarborough! 

It was the hypocrisy of religious leaders and preachers that puts me off religion. One of our preachers had a dispute with his neighbour about a piece of land. He then deliberately flooded the person's house. He’d just been preaching about loving thy neighbour! 

I don't believe in anything or the afterlife or anything like that.The reason we're here is to look up to one another. To take care of one another and to be community focused. We need to make things better. There are a lot of opportunities to do that. I don't believe I’m coming back as a butterfly or anything. I just think it's about being humane and caring about people. Doing your best and try not to do too much damage in every respect.

Kids are not born racist or not to care about other people and the environment. I think uncaring comes from negative experiences. A lot of families have difficult challenges. I think it's probably about nurturing. Maybe there should be more in the school curriculum, particularly around Black Lives Matter and environmental issues. We all should take personal responsibilities. It wont solve all the problems as with everything, some people are just nob heads. (laughing) 

How do you feel about death? 

I’ve had a few incidents, particularly late on a night, we might be watching telly then all of a suddenly the thought would come into my mind - you’re going to die. Not right at that minute, but my reaction - I used to call it, having the screaming ab dabs without the screaming. I'd get my shoes on and go out for a walk to calm down. I was in my early 60’s. A couple of times recently it’s crept in again. I tell myself ‘shut it down, shut it down’. I’ve just read a book by Rachel Clark - ‘A Doctor's Story of Love and Loss’, it’s really helped. Reading about how people die. I'm not saying I won't be frightened, of course I’ll be frightened!

What brings you down? 

I was very down after the election in December. We thought we might win our seat here but we have an obnoxious Tory MP that blocks legislation around domestic violence and thinks men are unfairly treated. He questions, why there should be an International Women's Day when there isn't an international men's day. It’s quite a depressing that he actually increased his majority.

The catastrophic situation of COVID-19 and 60,000 people dead. That brings me down. Racism is an issue which I find it unbelievable. We've got Black Lives Matters. I lived through the National Front and the BNP and demonstrated against them. How far have we come? The other week when that nurse who won an award, got stopped by the police and told to get out of her car. She was accused of stealing something. How can that happen? You’re talking about systemic and institutional racism. I remember the brutal death of Stephen Lawrence and how the Metropolitan police were institutionally racist.That was over 20 years ago. How can we still be in this situation? I saw a statistic the other day on Twitter; in 2004 there was one food bank. In 2011, there was about 200. Now there's over 2,000. We're the fifth richest country in the world. This is absolutely obscene. That drives my politics. It shouldn’t be happening. 

What would you like to leave for the next generation?

An apology that we’ve fucked up so much. Old people like me have a responsibility. This younger generation is probably going to be the first generation worse off than their parents. And that was before COVID so God knows what the long term impact is going to be. I hope we leave a better world than the one we've got the minute. Whatever we can do to try to  rectify the mess. It’s not been me directly; I'm a veggie, a vegan, I’m politically sound. I vote the right way. Leaving all that stuff aside, I think we owe this younger generation a lot. Give them the opportunity to make the world better. We should lower the voting age to 16. I think it's a disgrace that it's not. The older generation, I'm generalising, should stand back and let younger people take that space. We need to encourage them. We need to listen more. I think there's an assumption and I'm probably as guilty as anybody, that because we've lived it, we know everything but that's not the case.

The Prime Minister from New Zealand is really impressive. There are a lot of women leaders who have been really impressive. Men should step back and let women move into leadership positions - the world would be a better place for that. 

How do you best express yourself?

Through my opinions and my voice. I'm very proud to be from the North and particularly from Yorkshire. That's the heart of who I am. And that to me is a way of expressing myself. I can be quite emotional. Would you say you've got more emotional the older you’ve got? Yeah, I think so. My family background was, you never said you loved each other and you were never physical or emotional. I was brought up like that. The idea of showing your emotions -  no way. So yes, I’ve become more emotional as I’ve got older. A lot of that has been learned from my partner. It's really important to show your emotions.

What you think about doing this today? 

I've really enjoyed it. You don’t often get a chance to reflect. To a degree it’s been therapeutic. Normally there isn’t the trigger.