I had the fortune to play at Glastonbury

Colin 64. Musician and record producer from South London. Lives with his partner. He has a step- son from a previous relationship

How are you? 

Tired! Life is tolerable. I’m reasonably happy. I’ve spent the last 10 years living back at my childhood home caring for my dad but before that I had spent all my adult life living in Manchester. 

Things came to ahead when my dad got broken into by the infamous ‘Night Stalker’! He went on a surge of South London, breaking into to elderly peoples homes and sexually assaulting them. The police didn’t catch him for 20 years. He broke into my dads house in 2008 - dressed head to foot in biker leathers. He was a big bloke. We aren’t really sure how he managed to squeeze himself through the tiny bathroom window - but he did! Thankfully he didn’t assault my dad but he did stay talking to my dads house for a few hours. Eventually he left taking four bottles of champagne wth him! My dad was 86 at the time. He must have been petrified? He said it was the most exciting thing that had happened to him since the war. After that I moved back in with him.

How do you see yourself?

I’m always surprised when I look in the mirror because that’s not how I see myself. I’m not quite the person I imagined I was. Do you like yourself? I didn't use to when I was younger. From quite a young age I wanted to be a pop star. I started collecting music, albums and stuff. My parents got me piano lessons when I was 9. I hated it. I kept it a secret from my friends. It didn’t become cool until I went to secondary school. I remember playing ‘House of the Rising Sun’ on the school organ. I really wanted to be in a band. Years later I got into a band and moved to Manchester. I thought I was was really, really clever. I wanted to be like the clever people. I wanted to meet Pete Shelly. We got a record deal and made a couple of singles. Anything I know? No, we were always in the doldrums of the third division. (laughing)

That world came to an end when my mum died. I was 28 at the time. It was the first time my dad had ever rung me in Manchester. It was really sudden. She had a brain tumour at work. ‘You’ve gotta come now, she's still alive’. She was 55. It was total shock. I don’t remember her much but I did used to dream about her. I don’t remember her voice. There is one memory I have. She came in one day telling us she’d got a job. She had been the classic 1950’s housewife ’til that point. She said - I’ve got my own money now. I'm not doing any more cooking for any of you, and she didn’t.

How do other people see you? 

I think they’d say he dodges responsibility.

You’ve mentioned your hair, if you don’t mind I’d like to ask you about losing your hair. When did you lose your hair? 

It started going in my teens. I had really long hair. I got into Genesis when Peter Gabriel was fronting it. He had this hairstyle razored in and I did the same with mine but mine never grew back. Has it bothered you losing your hair? In hindsight I missed out on having loads of different hairstyles. Back in the 70s I got a Bic razor and shaved it all off. Suddenly I thought - this is ok. Very few people did that back then. Kids would laugh at me. I’d tell them it was the ‘chemo’. I took to wearing hats. I was a solid hat wearer for 15 years. Girls would come up to me and say  ‘Can I touch your head, can I touch your head? It was a bit weird.  The weird thing is - I’m not a hairy person but once I reached 40 I suddenly started developing chest hair! 

What do you think about marriage?

I am due to get married soon. Mainly it’s a ‘bucket list’ thing to do as I’ve never been married before, although I have been in three long term relationships. 

How do you feel about children?

I didn’t want kids in my twenties. The change came in my thirties. I looked at other people who were having kids around me at the time and thought - perhaps this is the point of it all. I asked my girlfriend if we should have kids but she wasn’t interested. We spilt up. (not because of that) Later on my new girlfriend came with a child and he became my step son. He’s 30 now and a professional musician. I met him when he was four. He started calling me dad when he was 18. He never met his birth father who did a runner before he was born. 

Where does all your energy go?

Shopping. I like food shopping. I like cooking. In lockdown I became obsessed with lentils. I made a lot of Dahl. Have you always liked cooking? Yeah, pretty much from when my mum said she wouldn't cook a thing for any of us ever again. I’d watch Ready, Steady Cook in the late 90’s. The Ainsley Harriet period. There’s techniques and that's what I find interesting about cooking. An old lodger of mine said, you only need a good knife and a good frying pan and it’s true. I’m obsessed with Southern American cooking. I make the perfect Gumbo and collard greens. All the Southern American staples.   

What’s your most memorable experience?

I had the fortune to play at Glastonbury in 1992 on the World Music Stage. As we started there were just a few people in the audience but as we played, more and more people came. The lights went down and the audience lit up lighters and torches. There was this stream of light. We played a really good set. It's like a drug. Even playing small gigs, there’s something about holding the audience. You're out there! Us against the world. When it works it just works. Sometimes you’re on a stage and you’re so into it in the moment that you’re not bothered about the audience. I’ve had recurring dreams of being on stage and forgetting the songs, not knowing the set and how would we get away with it! 

What do you think about life?

When I was younger I was really interested in religion and how it functioned but also really frightened when I went into a church. It’s a bit creepy seeing everyone doing the same thing. It’s the same at concerts and football matches too. ‘Of the one mind!’ You’re only one step away from ‘Sieg Hiel’. I read ‘The Phenomena of Man’ by Teihard de Chardin. The idea was that Gods plan was to place people on earth to work out the path. The path could be through two ways: the exploration of the material world through science - unravelling it, finding God at the bottom of the microscope, or through artistic pursuits. The rest of us in the population, by division of labour would support those two functions. At the time it pleased me to think that I could just be a milkman and still be supporting the system. I like the idea that we are all supporting this expedition. I actually don't think there is a point to life. Human beings communicate and give stuff names and somewhere in the middle of all that we think there's a point to it. Dogs aren’t wondering - what’s the point of it all!

What do you think about death? 

I'm a bit worried about it. It’s a thing that’s haunted me recently. I dream quite a lot. We used to do this thing when we were at school, it was quite fashionable at the time - we would make ourselves pass out! One time during one of these ‘passing outs’, I had a vivid dream involving David Bowie. It went on for ages and ages. When I came out I said to my mate - how long have I been out? He said  - oh about 20 seconds! That’s happened to me a lot. I can have these convoluted dreams that are happening in real time in their world and I’ve got a ghastly feeling death might be a bit like that - a very long dream. People say, I hope it's going to be painless and quick, but perhaps in that moment, it might last a pretty long time. It might be painful. 

When you hit 40 you suddenly think, I’ve been grown up longer than I’ve been a child. Then you hit  60. Thinking back from 60 to 40, that happened quite quickly. It’s all going very fast. You accept death is coming. There’s no backing out of it. For years and years and years, it was always something - over there. Now it's in the sight lines. The finishing post is there. The wire it's stretched, ready for you to break it.

What do you  think about faith?

Faith and pride in something are two things I find difficult to comprehend. But you somehow have to have faith that people will do the right thing. There will be a happy ending somewhere in all of this. I kinda of think there wont be though. (laughing)

How do you best express yourself?

There’s a lot of arm waving and face pulling (laughing) Through my music. One time when me and my ex split coincidently, I was asked to write a song for the Sugar Babes. I brought a bottle of red wine and wrote a song. It didn’t take long. It just came out of me. It was published and I got 25K. 

What do you think about doing this?

It's been great. I spend a lot of time on my own so I can talk a lot. I waffled - a lot!