the pandemic has saved my life

George 20, from Luton. Living with Cerebral Palsy. A Student and a MASSIVE football supporter!

How have you been during the pandemic?

I’ll be 21 next month and was supposed to be going to New York with my parents and brother, that’s now on hold! To be brutally honest the pandemic has saved my life. I was in a very low place earlier on this year. I was so low I was suicidal. I trusted the wrong people and it threw up in my face. I thought rather than trusting the wrong people ever again, I’d call it a day. I got a big bottle of rum and a couple of beers and I tried to do the whole lot. I deleted all my social media accounts but by sheer luck my friend FaceTimed me, he knew something was wrong and thankfully talked me out of it. I’ve always had anger issues due to my disability but never to that point before. 

How are you?

I'm better than I was. I was in a really dark place. I wouldn't say I'm back to where I want to be. I still have days when I’m down. Was there anything specific that lifted you? Being at home with people I trusted. I spent time at home with my brother, my Nan, who unfortunately is now in a care home, my mum and dad, my two dogs and being around those people that I knew would always have my back and who loved me. There’s always people to talk to, people who care. It showed me not everyone in this world is out to get me. Now if something happens I have a sequence of things that I do, if that fails - I call Mum! Without structure I can't function.

How do you  see yourself? 

I am a disability activist. I've got a YouTube channel. It’s about raising awareness for disability and the different challenges people face. It’s what I believe in most but what I'm known for is football. I go to a stupid amount of games. From 26th December to 5th January last year I went to 9 games. I’m about to start my university degree in football coaching. Football is my life. I have two teams - West Ham United and Luton. I go Home and Away with both clubs. In 2019 I went to 73 games between the two clubs and spent over £4,500 on watching games. I have two nicknames - ‘Stato’ because I memorise football statistic and ‘Wheels’ because of my wheelchair. 

How do you think other people see you?

Family see me as the ‘normal’ me. Some people see me as the boy in the wheelchair. Some people see me as a role model, although I’m flattered by that I don’t see myself that way.  Have you had unwarranted attention over the years? Yes. There’s always the idiot on the street that looks at the chair and looks at you like you’re something less than they are because they have the ability to walk. But I get a lot of good attention through Facebook, through my mum who shares my videos with her friends. There's a lot of positive comments about how well my disability channel is doing. I think people’s prejudice it’s due to lack of awareness which is why I do my channel.  I’m trying to raise awareness for all disabilities - mainly physical ones because that’s the position I'm in.

Any thoughts on how we can educate people without patronising them? There comes a point when you've got to just say it straight - the facts. For example, where I live in Luton there are three train stations. Luton has a very large population but only one station with disability access. People need education in anyway which way. Tell them, show them videos. I get my motivation from my mum. When I was little, my physio funding was cut for a while, my mum and dad campaigned tirelessly to get it back for me. I think I have the same fight in me. I can't just sit back and let things happen when they directly impact me. If I can do something to make things easier in life, I will. 

What do you think about marriage?

One thing I get pretty frustrated about with my disability is not having a relationship. A lot of girls, especially my age don’t want to be with someone with a disability as severe as mine. I’m in a wheelchair, I have my mobility scooter, it does affect my everyday life. I understand it because they’re young as well but it’s quite frustrating when I see what my friends have. My best friend has a baby and I see how happy he is. I’m envious. I would love to have a relationship like that. To be with someone I can trust.

Where does all your energy go?

Football! I recently did a video with my mum about raising a disabled child. She said I burn the candle at both ends with football and university but I disagree with that. I think football saved me as well as that phone call from my friend. I think football gave me a purpose to get up every day, knowing there was a game coming up.  

Have you ever met any of the players? I’ve met quite a lot of them. I’m lucky in that my disability and the wheelchair gets you a lot of privileges. I get right up front on a raised platform. I can always see the game. I’ve met pretty much everyone I want to. Footballers are just regular people that are very good at a particular skill which has given them godly levels of exposure. Not all footballers want that  but some look for it. Football is pretty much my life. Without the fans it’s just a bunch of fellas kicking a ball around. How are you finding watching it without the crowds? It’s just not the same. It’s so boring.

What are your dreams? 

My dreams is to have a family. Ideally two children: a boy, and a girl. A relationship and professionally, it’s to be the first disabled manager in EFL (English Football League). I am doing my degree to get a deeper knowledge of football. I'm passionate about my disability activism, but I don't get a buzz from it. I get a buzz from Football. 

What are your views on faith?

I did believe in God until my nan passed away. She didn’t drink or smoke. She was healthy. She was into Tai Chi and all that kind of stuff but unfortunately she died of cancer. That made me think, if God is real and he's all seeing, all knowing then why is there suffering? That's the main reason why I think religion is nonexistent.

What's your most memorable experience?

Up until about 18, I did disability athletics. I was a Shotput and Discus thrower. Without sounding arrogant I was one of the better ones from my age group in Britain. In 2016 I won the county, regional, national championship and the British school games, which is the best of the best. Also becoming a big brother. It's something that I’d always wanted. My little brother is very helpful. I love him for that but he’s got that teenage side which is challenging at times.

Who or what inspires you? 

My main goal is to become a football manager. A lot of people, think I’m too ambitious to try because of my condition but that’s what drives me. To prove them wrong. The manager of Luton Town is Nathan Jones. He’s my idol. I look to emulate him. He’s everything I want to be in a manager. He’s passionate, articulate - technically. He's where I want to be. He's young for a manager - in his forties. He connects with the fans. He's just an average person that was lucky enough to be given an opportunity, taking it and running with it. 

What do you think about the weather?

The rain is a pain, I dislike a lot. It has such a big effect on my mobility, when the wheelchair gets wet it’s a lot harder to handle and that can be frustrating. 

What do you think about life? 

It’s a wonderful thing. It's something that I hope goes on forever because I’m petrified of death. I think everyone has their moment. If you can make the biggest impact, positive or negative, then you’ll be remembered. Take Hitler for example. He was one of the most evil men in the world but also one of the most memorised. In that sense, he succeeded. He had a goal and he believed in that goal.

How do you feel about death? 

I am scared of dying. I'm scared of my parents and granddad dying because I don't know how I would react. I’m a planner. I like to know what’s going on, it’s the fear of the unknown that scares me. You can't stop death.

What have you taken from doing this?

I didn't know projects like this existed. I didn’t know books were being written to do with conversations with different people, regarding these kind of topics. Having now done the interview I think these conversations need to be had more. You’ve asked me 18 questions, but we’ve talked about so much more.